I really feel like I'm getting better at this critiquing business.
Firstly, I believe this may be my favorite chapter so far. I already told you why I had my doubts about the first chapter, and the second chapter was good but was distinctly lacking in conflict of any serious nature, which made it where it had little weight, even if it was telling a good story. Conflict is the mark of all great stories though, and depending on how you establish and progress it, it can make a story better, or worse.
If a conflict has very little meaning, or is too light, it will be forced to stretch out across the story, making it weaker altogether and harder to believe. Conflict just for the sake of conflict if you will. If a conflict is far too heavy, the end result may be predictable, else it seem forced. If someone killed your best friend out of jealousy, and you do anything other than call the police and get them arrested, that's just poor storytelling. I mean sure there are ways it can be taken, but ultimately it can be broken down into a much simpler and more predictable set of possibilities. What I mean by anything else seeming forced, would be if you took my example above, and made it where the person who's best friend was killed, fell in love with the person who killed said best friend. It wouldn't make sense, it would seem forced, like the author is making a story that just wasn't meant to be.
Vision: Vision still isn't one of my strong suits to talk about. I read this story and it makes me think of confusion and uncertainty. Edd isn't sure if Marie is actually genuine with her affections, and it just unable to show it properly. Or if Marie is simply becoming a poison of a different flavor, still looking to embarrass and humiliate him at any turn, while hiding it behind a new veil of teenage hormones and unconditional attractiveness.
Originality: Once again, this is not a route I have seen taken at all. In most stories, it's a clear cut route, where either Marie did something wrong and is forced to correct it, or Edd did something wrong and is forced to correct it. In your story however, it is seemingly left up to interpretation. Did Marie take things too nonchalantly when she was trying to get with Edd, and simply make it seem like she was still the immature girl that tormented him during his childhood, ...IS Marie still the immature girl that tormented him during his childhood? Or did Edd too hastily make a decision in order to alleviate the pressure off of him, and didn't stop to think about the fact that, maybe, Marie is simply as inexperienced in relationships as he is, and he really just needed to sit down and have a serious talk with her, instead of seemingly expecting her to know all of his concerns and doubts? It's something I don't see very often, maybe not at all, and I truly appreciate and acknowledge that from you.
Technique: Very good use of descriptive terms. I've always thought of Rolf as tall and lanky, and I've always found Lee's voice to sound rather Husky. People putting into words the thoughts that were already in my mind make me smile. It's also a great mark of a story. If I can see the character without actually having seen the character, that means you have painted a picture with words. You have a fairly broad vocabulary, and know how to use it. Sometimes people use them just to sound more intelligent, when in reality the mark of a good story is it's ability to be understood by a broader audience. Of course there will be stories which will inevitably be written by someone who actually talks like that, and thus you will subsequently need to be more intelligent to understand it, but I digress. Also I like the side things making it feel more like it's in the universe of Ed, Edd n Eddy, like Eddy making up schemes in order to make money.
Impact: My mind is racing trying to put together all the ways I think this can go. I feel upset, remorseful, angry, frustrated, and basically everything in between. Marie is being childish, Edd is being presumptuous, misunderstandings are being created, bridges are starting to smolder. I am simply waiting for clarity and satisfaction.
Overall, I'm looking forward to what you are thinking of next.
I really like the conflict and the inclusion of other characters, although I would like a little bit more, get them involved with the story, either via on the side commentary on what they think, like a little paragraph in which we see what the character sees, and their thoughts at the time, or direct injection into it, as in they actually go up and talk to the main character(s) and thus are involved and acknowledged. Even if it's just something as simple as you writing about a character to the side reacting to something happening (laughing, gasping, getting annoyed), I think people will like and appreciate it.
Try out writing from different perspectives. I've noticed a distinct lack of that. Try to get into Marie's head and write about what she is thinking and/or seeing. Do the same with the other Ed's. Write about little observations that Ed and Eddy are making. Write about what the other kids are seeing/thinking. Don't tie it down to one perspective when there are so many to work with. Don't leave your comfort zone though if you don't think it will work out. Write it, then review and see if you are happy with the result.
I think this may be my longest ramble yet.